Feelings and emotions are the stuff of life. They connect us to one another and to our own humanity. They act as internal barometers that signal fair weather, or warn us that storms are on the way.

We all know that life can get messy at times. When you feel you are falling apart it's hard to believe that things can change or that you possess an inner weather-gauge that can inform you of how to manage your emotions and respond appropriately to a crisis. Humans are innately designed with this capacity, but in our fast-paced, pressured modern world we can lose track of our authentic selves and forget to pay attention to our needs.

Research now confirms that only 5% of our conscious mind is active during the day. The other 95% of our actions and decisions are unconscious and out of our awareness. These unaware and seemingly inaccessible layers of our minds determine how we will respond to a particular situation.

When we repeatedly find ourselves triggered into reactive states that seem to "come out of the blue", we know we are in the grip of a habituated and unconscious pattern that was created during our formative years and beyond. My personal and professional experiences of psychotherapy have taught me that these entrenched and automatic ways of being can be changed. After all, a habit is something we have the capacity to modify, if we make the commitment to doing so.